My friends, they love my intelligence
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I just gift wrapped bread.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
