im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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