I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
