I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
