i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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