from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize