Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Houston, we have a blender
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
