Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
either way he was missing a nipple.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
