I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
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