Tell her she can't have a vagina
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
