Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
