I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
