His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
