Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Randomize
