I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
