NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Randomize
