can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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