well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
