Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
you win again, gameday.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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