I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
We're not piercing ourselves today.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
