this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
