another moral hangover. fuck.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
