Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Naked. naked and bneed help.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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