Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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