she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize