rhymes with "ouble enetration"
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
