I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Vodka?
Forever.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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