i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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