i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize
