So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
