and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
