I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
