The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
3 2 1 whiskey
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
