One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize