I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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