im holly from the hills drunk
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
