So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize
