On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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