Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
