So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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