It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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