guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
they're like a gay fantastic four
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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