I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
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