a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
