Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
