i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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