dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Can you bring me the toilet please
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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