she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
