i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
that's an acceptable place to lick
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
