Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
