is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
