I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
It's shark week go big or go home
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
false alarm, still single
Randomize
