def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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