she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
