I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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